Believing

I have to believe that everything is going to be okay. I have to believe that so strongly in my heart that everything is going to be okay.

Remembering

Beautiful soul,
I've been remembering you today. I just thought of how adorable you were when you worried about where I'd wind up going to med school. You were always so happy when I was home. You fretted that I wouldn't be next to you anymore. What I would give to hug you right now and give you a great big kiss on your cute head. I love you so much. I'm so sorry I got so busy that I couldn't be with you the way I wanted to be. I love you and I am coming to visit so soon. How I wish you were still here.

A New Day

I am determined to make the most of this day. I am determined to find happiness and beauty in this glorious, bright day.
I dark night has passed. Today brings hope. Today brings promise of positivity. All is well. I am on my divine path. Love surrounds me. Release is on its way.

Kissed goodbye to you, my sunshine
my beautiful, best friend for life
kissed you goodbye, my love


Two months ago I sat in his hospital room. The day was gray like today. So much the same. And I was so tired. God, I was so so tired. And my baby, he was leaving me and I couldn't even hold him. I couldn't even hold him in my arms the way I always did. I didn't even get the chance to whisper, to grasp, to hang on, to fight for the moments that were slipping through both of our hands. He was so sick, so incredibly ill. And I was spinning through the hectic life of medical school. And now he's gone. My love, my baby, my light, my best friend. He's not here with me anymore. There's a hole inside me. No one can fill it. I need someone to hold me so tight. Someone to make me feel safe again. I need...I need...I need....and I just don't know anymore. I am tired of always being with myself. Always alone. I need my soulmate now more than ever. But for now, there is only the earth to rest my head, my heart, upon.