I thought I could keep medical school from getting to me. I thought I could keep myself together. But this has been the most grueling period of time, ever. I have never been working as hard as I am now. The exhaustion has taken over my mind, my body, my spirit. And, goodness, I've felt so trapped. So damn trapped. I am a free spirit. I've never felt as though I've belonged here. My house has always been a sad one. My family life a dysfunctional, broken one. And I just long, so much, to break free from here. From school, from home, from this lonely life as I know it. And I know I shouldn't say lonely because I've been with M for over a year now and he has been the most tremendous friend. But, part of me wonders whether I rely too much on him now when I really need to rely on myself.

Burnt Out

I need to make it through these last few days and I just feel so drained. There is nothing I can grasp hold of deep within to keep me going. No glory to win, no hope of acing my exam, just the same old same old need to pass and move on with my life. I am at the point of tears. I just cannot do it anymore.

Exhausted.

I can't wait to sleep. Just one more week to go.

I shall buy comfy pajamas for the occassion.