What can I say? It has been painstaking. I don't know if I can continue anymore. It is hard to explain, but I feel myself so drained, so damn exhausted. I keep reaching for inspiration. I keep trying to cultivate my spirituality, but time is always a factor. I am barely making it. I just want a time out. I just want to be back in the Redwood Forest. I want to put my head on the earth again. The chief warned us not to leave our souls behind us and I'm afraid I did. I just want to be left alone for a little while. I need some time to myself. Time for inspiration. Time to dance. Time for freedom. I am so afraid of getting onto the wards and being so focused on learning medicine that I forget to see the patients as human beings in need of comfort and compassion.