I've started to run. Well not really. I can only jog for about five minutes. Today I jogged for six. I think it's my way of physically manifesting my desire to run away from myself.....Even so, I will survive this. I must quiet my mind. I must learn to love myself for who I am or else I will meet my demise. Coflicts. Conflicts. Reaching toward love or succumbing to self-loathing. Self-loathing really amounts to loathing the whole world and I don't want to be that way. I just want to breathe and let go. Letting go.....it's something I don't know too much about. But, I can fake it until I make it. I can fake courage and confidence. I can pretend until I am that way. In a sense, I guess it's good that I am always striving to be a better person. I am always trying to reach toward such high standards. Too high almost. It makes it so easy for me to fall.

I'm comfortable writing here. I think I will stay. I like being alone and this time it has nothing to do with being hurt and running away. I just want quiet. Goodbye xanga. Hello blogger.